There comes a time when you have to throw in the towel and admit defeat. And I’d say that time has already come and past where it pertains to me and the hunt for my “Goldilocks” of dual stimulation vibrators. If you remember, I started this charge with a gung-ho, raring to go attitude. Feeling (perhaps, looking back now,) overly confident that, although the road might be rocky, the goal would eventually be met.
I’m tirelessly in pursuit of ever more powerful and rumbly vibrations. I’d heard rumors of the Doxy Don (introduced initially as the Doxy Skittle,) possessing ownership of some grade-A, top shelf, certifiable rumbly vibrations.
Let me start off by verifying that yes, indeed, there is truth in those allegations.
Up until now, I’ve always thought comparing a vibrator to a jackhammer was a straight-up insult to the toy itself.
I’m always down to try the newest ones. YouTube Beauty Gurus are forever on the hunt for the next big one. And the online makeup world is replete with endless “Top Ten Lists” of them. What am I referring to, you ask? Dupes, of course! For those unfamiliar with this newly coined terminology, “dupe” is simply short for duplicate. It is a slang term for a cheaper version of an expensive higher-end product.
Hmm… perhaps, I don’t know… just maybe… Cal Exotics might have screwed up royally when they chose to name their hot pink, vaguely tongue-shaped vibrator, the Flicker. The combination of all three, the name, the shape, and the color have the potential to elicit some disturbing mental imagery. Or more explicitly, nightmarish fantasies of a creepy, disembodied tongue lapping ferociously at one’s genitals.
Like something straight out of a B-rated horror movie;
After witnessing first-hand, the debacle that is the Jive. Then going on to read bad reviews all-around of both, the Wish and the Gala. I was beginning to despair that one of my favorite sex toy brands may have already reached its pinnacle. With only one way left to go, and we all know that is down, in a rapidly descending death spiral.
Whilst all I could do is wring my hands and watch helplessly from the sidelines.
I won’t lie, mine and my darling Zumio X’s relationship got off to a rocky start. As epic love affairs seldom do. I take full responsibility for making the unwise choice to place the Zumio’s hard unforgiving, ultra-targeted SpiroTIP™ against what was then my overworked and tender clit.
What follows should act as a cautionary tale.
You see, the first time I tried the Zumio,
For those of you who secretly doubt that you could ever find harmony with the Volta’s bizarre-looking design, I appreciate and identify with your ambivalence. I don’t think anyone would dare try to argue that the Fun Factory Volta isn’t an awkward-looking little fella? What, with its upturned beak, (or is that a bill?) molded in such a way, that it will remain forever frozen slightly agape.
However, I honestly think if you give it a try,
Cue the angelic choir music. Behold, dear readers, I have found a toy that sufficiently replicates the sensation of receiving oral. For me, at least, (with only a few minor caveats.)
I present to you, the Adrien Lastic Caress. Oh, and if you are wondering what that sound is, that my friends, is the sound of a harp accompanied by beautiful, angelic voices singing harmoniously, in perfect unison, “Ahhhhhhh!”
For the skeptics,
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