Sex toys have a murky history. One of the rare times I’ve heard them mentioned in a historical context is in the fascinating tale of Cleopatra smartly employing a swarm of bees imprisoned within a hollow gourd to fulfill her lustful urges. While of course, this entertaining, little anecdote has proven to be only a myth, I still find it rather amusing to picture the legendary Queen of the Nile, herself, creating the world’s first DIY vibrator.
All systems are a go! I repeat this is not a drill!
“Hold up! Wait a minute. Pump the brakes. Let’s not get our hopes up just yet.” This was me reining myself in, tempering my excitement upon learning the news of the Wand by We-Vibe’s impending release.
After years of anticipation, this long-fabled union was finally becoming a reality. Would it live up to the high expectations we’ve collectively built for it in our minds?
Not gonna lie, it took some time to warm up to the Vibease. This toy’s vibrations are far more muted than the ones that emanate from the motors’ of the rip-roaring bullet vibes and bone jarring wands that I’m endlessly raving about on here.
I get it, low-key is an asset for a remote-controlled vibe that could potentially be worn out in public. It’s a bare minimum prerequisite for discretion.
If this were a beauty contest, no doubt about it, the ZALO Momoko would easily be crowned the winner. What, with its French embossing, its luxurious gold plating, and its precious unicorn-inscribed dangle, the Momoko is unquestionably a beautiful sex toy.
I don’t think anyone will argue that ZALO’s sex toys are anything less than breathtaking with their exquisite Swarovski-studded designs.
However,
Is it just me or does the We-Vibe Rave’s 7-inch, silicone-covered length, compounded by its somewhat angular-shape and corresponding sharp-edged seams look…what’s the word I’m searching for, here? Hmm…I don’t know… unnerving, or perhaps, slightly intimidating.
Let’s quickly flashback to the moments leading up to me trying the Rave for the first time.
I distinctly recall holding the Rave in my hand and feeling more than a tad apprehensive about this vibrator’s solid,
After witnessing first-hand, the debacle that is the Jive. Then going on to read bad reviews all-around of both, the Wish and the Gala. I was beginning to despair that one of my favorite sex toy brands may have already reached its pinnacle. With only one way left to go, and we all know that is down, in a rapidly descending death spiral.
Whilst all I could do is wring my hands and watch helplessly from the sidelines.
We-Vibe, how could you? How could you do this? After we had such a good thing going, and for so long. You know that I practically live for your Touch. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore! I feel cheated by the Jive.
Why couldn’t your Jive be as powerful and explosive as your Tango or the legend of your Salsa?
I’ve never started a review with a facepalm before, but just before I started writing this, I sat with my head in my hands. Trying to ignore the feeling of impending doom, and figure out how I was going to get through it. Offline I’m prone to passive aggression. A lot of the time I find it hard to confront uncomfortable or unpleasant issues head-on.
I’m the one always trying to dodge hurt feelings,
You must be logged in to post a comment.