There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
We-Vibe, how could you? How could you do this? After we had such a good thing going, and for so long. You know that I practically live for your Touch. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore! I feel cheated by the Jive.
Why couldn’t your Jive be as powerful and explosive as your Tango or the legend of your Salsa?
When this self-described, bullet vibe devotee saw Je Joue had three brand new versions, ones that could potentially be added to my ever-expanding stockpile of favorites, I did a small-seated, happy-dance.
Listen, I fangirl rumbly clit vibes so hard that if “The Rumbly Bullet Vibes” were a sports team I’d be their number one fan. Seriously, I’d cheer them on at every home game.
Beyond the usual; realistic versus abstract design preferences, I suppose aesthetics usually don’t play a huge factor in most folks’ decisions on whether or not to buy a dildo.
Maybe I’m wrong here, but I imagine, most people read online product specs, with the hope of accurately gauging whether a dildo’s overall dimensions, (i.e., length, width, and girth) will be compatible with their personal preferences. All while holding their breath that the toy they ultimately wind up choosing,
Cue the angelic choir music. Behold, dear readers, I have found a toy that sufficiently replicates the sensation of receiving oral. For me, at least, (with only a few minor caveats.)
I present to you, the Adrien Lastic Caress. Oh, and if you are wondering what that sound is, that my friends, is the sound of a harp accompanied by beautiful, angelic voices singing harmoniously, in perfect unison, “Ahhhhhhh!”
For the skeptics,
Jeezus! Satisfyer is cranking out new toys and (before you know it) even newer toys at such a breakneck pace that some of us are having trouble keeping up. Seriously, I barely had time to try the original Pro Penguin, before, next thing I knew, Satisfyer was releasing the Pro Penguin Next Generation!
So, I figured it’d be less confusing for everyone, if I simplified things by rolling my thoughts,
Dull, bland, uninspiring, humdrum….shall I continue? No, really, I could go on, and on. About how much of a dud the VēDO GEE Slim G-Spot vibrator turned out to be. This review contains no mentions of grand orgasmic fireworks. Because there were none or maybe, better I said, I had none.
Nope, any hint, even the slightest whisper of an orgasm I managed to muster while using the GEE Slim agonizingly fizzled away.
Okay, I have to make a quick confession. The Noje W3 is one of the rare instances where the size of a toy took me by complete and utter surprise. This was in large part, due to a (slightly-embarrassing) oversight of mine. My failure to read the product guide in its entirety. Whoops!
Another factor, which led to my severe misjudgment of the Noje W3’s size and scale, stems from my (wrongheaded,
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