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What can I say, it’s a rare occurrence that I dislike a toy this much. After using the Trigger only a handful of times, I’ve already begun fantasizing about destroying it, à la 100 Ways to Die, sex toy edition.
Not that I’m entirely surprised by this turn of events. No, what astonished me, was when I tried the Adrien Lastic Trigger out the first couple of times,
When Lelo’s newest toy, the Sona Cruise, hit Instagram, with Amber Rose proudly endorsing it, I’ll freely admit that it caught my attention. It was one of those times where my curiosity got the better of me. Of course, you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.
Still, I was more than just a little bit intrigued, I kept thinking to myself, “Hmmm…a Lelo version of the air-pulse technology.
Once bitten, twice shy. That’s exactly how I felt about the Fun Factory pulsating toy line. Happy as I was upon getting word of a brand new Stronic toy making the rounds, I couldn’t help but have slight misgivings. Like the proverbial wet blanket, this bit of uncertainty put a huge damper on what should have a celebratory moment. And let’s face it, a fresh, new Fun Factory design,
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We-Vibe, how could you? How could you do this? After we had such a good thing going, and for so long. You know that I practically live for your Touch. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore! I feel cheated by the Jive.
Why couldn’t your Jive be as powerful and explosive as your Tango or the legend of your Salsa?
Mama’s gettin’ the VIP treatment tonight, baby! In the form of what I’ve personally nicknamed, the Cadillac of sex toys, the Doxy Number Three. Really, there’s just something about the Number Three’s satiny brushed aluminum-titanium alloy finish that just plain screams luxury.
Now, I’ll give you this much, The Doxy Number Three may not be your tricked-out-Escalade-sporting-26-inch-chrome-rims version of a wand. No, that’d be the Doxy Die-Cast Orginal you’re looking for instead.
When this self-described, bullet vibe devotee saw Je Joue had three brand new versions, ones that could potentially be added to my ever-expanding stockpile of favorites, I did a small-seated, happy-dance.
Listen, I fangirl rumbly clit vibes so hard that if “The Rumbly Bullet Vibes” were a sports team I’d be their number one fan. Seriously, I’d cheer them on at every home game.
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