Go ahead try this fun little experiment out for yourself. Start off by handing the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman XXL to a friend with no explanation. Encourage them to turn it on and look it over to their satisfaction. So they get a real feel of what they’re seeing.
Now, politely ask them what they think it costs. Chances are they will overshoot the price by at least double, minimum.
That’s your cue to be all cute and announce the actual price. By the way, you’re well within your “friend-rights” to secretly savor your pal’s blank stare of incredulous bewilderment. I mean, you are only human, after all.
But don’t be cruel, show some patience. Give them time to recompose themselves and absorb the shocking piece of news you’ve just laid on them. They’ll likely grapple to formulate their thoughts on the Wand-er Woman XXL. It could take a moment or two for them to finally string together a coherent sentence. Not to worry, it’s all par for the course.
As you might have guessed already, I’ve concocted this hypothetical little experiment and its theoretical outcomes only half in jest. But one thing I’m deadly serious about is the very real emergence of an affordable, full-sized rechargeable wand, priced at just under $50. It can be a hard pill to swallow, for even, the most diehard optimists.
Learning of this wand’s existence can cause quite a shock to the system.
But this is real life. And for all, you practiced skeptics out there (I’m sure there are plenty reading this) I can assure you the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman XXL is an acceptable substitute for those who’re not financially capable, or quite frankly, simply unwilling to spend upwards of $200 (sometimes even more) for one of the other blogger endorsed, full-sized luxury wands.
It’s eerie, I swear. I can practically feel an army of dubious side-eyes getting shot in my direction. Hear me out.
I’m not asserting the Wand-er Woman XXL (ugh, I know, the name) has the same capacity to hammer away at our collective genitalia as the iconic “only tolerable through my jeans” dynamos. You know, all the usual suspects, the Magic Wand, Doxy Wand, and Le Wand, and of all their variations fall into this distinctive classification of vibrating wands. And to be perfectly honest, only they can deliver their signature style of bone-rattling vibrations. But remember, they also come with a pretty hefty price tag attached.
Tell the truth, I don’t ordinarily go straight for the “rattle the fillings out of my teeth” settings when I’m casually lounging in bed while leisurely using my vibrator before the start of my day. With that said, it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate having a nuclear option at the ready, for those times I’m intent on obliterating my clit into submission with shock waves of intense pleasure. In fact, it’s rather reassuring to know the option is there when the mood should strike.
That said, I simply refuse to believe that I’m the only one out here that shies away from the Magic Wand and all of its ilk’s super powerful, maximum settings. Wands are notorious for being serial inflictors of itchy genital-numbing overstimulation. I think we can all agree that they have never been celebrated for their finesse nor for their refinement. Some of their settings range from “Oooh, that feels nice!” to “Oops! I think I singed my bush off, “with precious few variations in between.
One thing for certain, the Wand-er Wand XXL brings some much-needed subtly to the table within its broad range of fifty vibrational combinations. Can I get around of applause for the thoughtful inclusion of a dedicated pattern button for some truly effortless scrolling? And, yes, you read that right, there are fifty combinations! These break down into ten patterns, with five intensities respectively.
I think it’s only fair that I pause, here, to mention that my battle-weary clit demands the highest speed to ultimately reach orgasm. No shade to the Wand-er Woman. The highest setting is the most full-bodied of the five steady settings, and consequently, the one I return to each time I use this vibrator.
Something else worth mentioning is the persistent and high-pitched hum that plagues the Wand-er Woman’s first four steady speeds. Oddly enough, the hum seems to disappear once you’ve kicked the motor all the way up to full throttle. From what I could tell, this anomaly is nothing more than an annoyance. It doesn’t seem to interfere with the wand’s general performance.
To summarize, the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman XXL comes outfitted with nearly the same bells and whistles as competitor wands that are double, and sometimes, even triple the price. It’s covered in a layer of silicone, it is rechargeable with a solid magnetic charger, it’s cordless and waterproof. And best of all, it’s selling for right around one-single fifty dollar bill. Even I’m left gobsmacked by the reality of its existence—oh, what a time to be alive!
The invention of Satisyer’s Wand-er Woman XXL swings the door wide open for the financially challenged and more frugal shoppers, alike. If you find that you’re like me and sometimes grapple with having champagne tastes while being restricted to a domestic brew budget. Well, allow me to introduce you to the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman XXL, this wand summarily lays waste to the financial barrier that’s long been a nearly insurmountable obstacle for many in their pursuit of owning a full-sized wand.
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