Chicken and waffles, Kermit and Miss Piggy, peanut butter & jelly, just a few examples of unexpected combinations, that for lack of a better word, just work. Their undeniable differences play well off one another and wind up complimenting the other perfectly. I wish I could say the same for vibration and pressure wave technology. The Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration is, unfortunately, one such toy, that ill-advisedly attempts to fuse these two opposing schools of self-pleasure.

Yes, that’s right, somewhere in some faraway boardroom, the fateful decision was made. The green light was given to devising a sex toy that merges Satisfyer’s signature pressure wave technology with your plain old garden variety vibration. I guess someone missed the memo the rest of got. The one that read: “Attn: Sometimes less is more.”

Keeping with Satisfyer’s M.O. for producing multiple versions of a single toy one right after the other, with rapid-fire release, the Satsifyer Pro 3 Vibration appears to be a more sophisticated and streamlined version of an earlier Satisfyer toy, the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. A graceless, oddly-formed toy that loosely resembles uhm…what is that thing? A ray gun?

On the whole, the Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration, aesthetically speaking, anyway, presents a vast improvement over the totally unsexy, medical-looking device that was its predecessor. Actually, the Pro 3 Vibration possesses, an until now, unseen shape within the Satisfyer collection. It has a unique, tapered-ice cream cone shape that is covered almost entirely by a skin of matte-finished silicone — all except for a single, rather striking, band of faux-rose gold.

To their credit, Satisfyer did have the forethought to incorporate separate control buttons for both the vibration and the pressure wave features. Which I was comforted to find means I can use one without the other. And more importantly, it means that I am under no obligation to mingle these two principles of pleasure together.

I heartily applaud Satisfyer’s decision to include a distinct and separate button for engaging and disengaging the ten vibrational settings. Along with their thoughtful inclusion of dual control buttons for the eleven different pressure wave settings. Compulsory vibration in a pressure wave toy, very well, may have been a deal breaker for me.

As is stands, the Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration is not a bad toy, per se. It’s just that I find the toy’s smooth and very circular opening to be the least compatible shape I’ve encountered among Satisfyer toys, thus far.

In truth, I found its precursor, the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration, with its slightly slanted nozzle to be superior to this particular shape. It’s all comes down to individual anatomy, I suppose. This configuration isn’t the best equipped to latch on to my tiny, very heavily hooded, mostly buried clit. My pudgy outer labia seem to be in the way, no matter how far I try to spread them apart.

As for the blending of vibration with pressure wave technology? In practice, I find it ultimately more distracting than anything else. These two very distinct sensations, simply put, compete with one another, instead of them complementing one another.

The Pro 3’s vibration is mediocre, nowhere near sufficient enough to get me off by itself. Yet, robust enough that when activated with the pressure wave feature, it causes the toy to start to ricochet off my body, creating an oddly familiar sensation. A circumstance which I first experienced with the Sona Cruise, the toy’s reverberation causes a rather funny and very audible imitation of someone blowing an obnoxiously loud raspberry against my vulva. Sometimes you just gotta laugh.

So, I think the moral of the story, here, is that I prefer my pressure wave tech straight up, undiluted by the distraction of vibration. And on the flip side of that, I prefer my vibration the same. These two differing tenets of self-pleasure don’t mix well for me. The Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration is much better with the vibration turned off. You, on the other hand, may well disagree.

Save 10% when you buy your Satisfyer Pro 3 Vibration
at Peepshow Toys with code: BACKWOODS10