We’ve officially closed the door on 2018, and I’m left feeling a combination of sweet relief, and bone-deep weariness. Sort of the way you feel after particularly annoying and emotionally draining guests have overstayed their welcome in your home. After the ball dropped, I figuratively leaned my back against the door marked 2018, and slid all the way down to the floor, then finally breathed a deep sigh of relief. Still too fearful to peer out the peephole to make sure, 2018’s extended visit was really over.

This past year has been a decidedly arduous one, but it’s not been without its pinnacles. This year, renewed a once deeply held childhood belief, that dreams really do come true.

I finally made the long-awaited, and long dreamt of, trek to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit.  And while I was there I met some of my real-world heroes. That is something you don’t get to do every day. I will be eternally grateful for the life-changing experience.

Before that, I awkwardly stumbled into a bit role in Epiphora’s annual April Fool’s day prank. By a stroke of dumb luck, I happened to be shopping on SheVibe’s “New Arrivals” tab somewhere around March 30th, when I spotted, Piph Lube. (Unbeknownst to me, this was a test run before the real event.) So, of course, I hastily took to Twitter to share my enthusiasm for the news, not realizing it was a joke. Thank goddess above, Epiphora almost instantly noticed my tweet and frantically DM’ed me. Notifying me of my huge faux pas, before I’d completely ruined her thoughtfully orchestrated prank. She, also, swiftly saw the opportunity to ask me to dream up a parody “review” for her new make-believe signature lube cocktail of Portland rainwater, weed, and cat-nip.

What kind of luck is that?

This year, my review line up was peppered with a few bombs, but there were also some real winners that make it all worthwhile. You know, those that became my instant favorites. I’ve created a top 5 list to commemorate my favorite toys of 2018.

My Top 5 Toy Picks For 2018

1. Fun Factory Volta

This strange-looking, duck-billed vibrator proved to me that I don’t always have to have hard pressure to enjoy a toy. Loaded with a powerful G5 motor and dual, tapered silicone flaps. In my book, it’s one of the more creative toys of 2018. Read the full review…

2. WaterSlyde™️ Water Diverter

This ingenious little design took me back to my masturbatory roots. The WaterSlyde™ is a simple and affordable option that requires no batteries, no cords, and no power source at all, beyond simply tying it to your bathtub tub. I can’t get enough of the slow burn build-up of the diverted water trickling over my vulva. Highly recommend it! Read the full review…

3. Stronic G

Another Fun Factory toy made the list. The auto-thrusting of the Stronic G paired with the slanted, blunt end of this pulsator, make for some amazing hands-free G-spot massage. It’s lazy masturbation personified. Read my full review…

4. Zumio X

Even though we got off to a painful start, I was quick to discover and appreciate the way the Zumio X has a knack for providing me with some super-duper pinpoint stimulation. Read the full review…

5. Doxy Don 

The very oft-overlooked step-sibling of the critically acclaimed Doxy Wand series, the Don, possesses, quite possibly, the thuddiest, and deepest penetrating vibrations I’ve ever come across. Read the full review…

Honorable Mentions

Liberator Hipster

While technically not a sex toy, this Liberator positional aid is at least worthy of an Honorable Mention. This hunk of foam is a stiff contender against my all-time favorite, the Liberator Wedge. Read the full review…

Blush Nocturnal Bullet

A Tango doppelgänger, (I’ve always wanted to use that word in a post) this little bullet vibe packs quite a wallop, and since it’s reasonably priced it won’t be too hard on the old wallet. Read my full review.

Doxy Number-Three

A great toy all around. The only reason you don’t find it sitting in the Top 5 is that my inclination for pinpoint stimulation caused it to be edged out by some of the other more precision type toys. Read the full review here…

Je Joue Bullet Vibe Trio

Given my affinity for pinpoint vibrations and all bullet vibrators, these affordable, and great performing vibrators deserve some recognition. Read the full review…

Worst Toy (By Far)

Adrien Lastic Trigger

My curiosity, once again, got the better of me. I was drawn to this vibrator for its weird oscillating arm and flexible clit arm. After experiencing what I came to know as phantom orgasms, (they were never to be replicated,) I grew resentful of its bit of obtuse, relentless, and wholly unpleasurable mechanized choreography. Read full review…

Get all of these amazing toys at SheVibe!