Cue the angelic choir music. Behold, dear readers, I have found a toy that sufficiently replicates the sensation of receiving oral. For me, at least, (with only a few minor caveats.)

I present to you, the Adrien Lastic Caress. Oh, and if you are wondering what that sound is, that my friends, is the sound of a harp accompanied by beautiful, angelic voices singing harmoniously, in perfect unison, “Ahhhhhhh!”

For the skeptics, I know you’re out there, I readily concede that there have been multiple iterations of sex toys throughout the years, that have tried (but failed,) to mimic cunnilingus. Including ones that could easily be mistaken for gag gifts, like the Sqweel 1 & 2. To the more uptight, serious incarnations, like the faux-gold-plated, Lelo Ora II and III. Even a more middle of the road brand, like Cal Exotics, took a stab at it. Adding a rolling “Pleasure ball” (really, just a small ball bearing) to a handful of toys in their Embrace line.

I’m sure, there are, or have been, dozens of other ill-conceived interpretations that I’ve failed to mention here. But that’s not important now. What is important, is, no matter if they were high-end, cheesy, or bordering on ridiculous, these toys all had one thing in common. They all failed at delivering the goods.

Its Got The Goods

You may be wondering and rightly so, “What exactly are these goods you speak of?” Well, the implied goal for each of these toys is that the user should theoretically be able to close their eyes and believe the fantasy. The one about the amazing head they are receiving. Am I right?

Admittedly, that’s a tall order to fill, and I completely understand if you’re more than a bit incredulous, but please hear me out on this.

Before going any further, I’d like to introduce you to the makers of The Caress, Adrien Lastic. A European toy manufacturer, that’s based in Spain, and only very recently became available across the pond, here in the US. Thanks in part, to everyone’s favorite online, sex toy shops SheVibe and Peepshow Toys. Each of these shops now carries a sampling of Adrien Lastic toys.

Let’s get something else out of the way, I’ll go ahead and say what you might already be thinking. Yes, The Caress, looks…. as bad as I hate to say it, a little silly, perhaps? But, its unique propeller-like design and its odd-looking attachments are what drew me to it. They cumulatively spoke to me, saying, “I’m different, try me!” So I happily obliged.

Seeing how I always shoot straight from the hip with y’all, I do confess, however, with only half-hearted hopes of it ever bringing me to orgasm.

So, if you hadn’t noticed already, the Caress proved me wrong, dead wrong, I’m a huge fan. That doesn’t mean, there aren’t things about it, that I take issue with. Its bright pink shade is one. But perhaps, this is one of those times you’ve got to take the good with the bad. All the while, crossing your fingers in hopes that the company hears your constructive criticism and makes future adjustments.

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

So, which do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad? Good news, it is then!

The Caress has five attachments, which means you won’t be lacking in variety. They also create a much more, fine-tuned, individualized masturbation experience. Offering your choices, (never a bad thing,) dependent on your unique anatomy, your specific preferences, and even your signature style of masturbation.

I enjoyed each of them, perhaps, the bunny ear attachment least, it was the only one that failed to get me off. It didn’t fit snuggly around my clit, and I didn’t enjoy the ultra-pin point stimulation. Wow, those are words I never thought I’d hear myself say. Just goes to show, nothing is ever written in stone.

Who knows though, you may love the bunny ears attachment, but the key to enjoying the Caress is a liberal application of water-based lube. If you don’t remember anything else I’m saying, remember this.

Also, take note, since this is a toy that spins or rotates, along with just slight vibrations, too much friction or drag will stop the motor from spinning. One of those downsides I hinted at earlier. This meant I had a bit of a learning curve to overcome. Seeing as how I’m inclined toward heavy clitoral pressure and the Caress requires a much more light-handed approach. I had to override my instincts to press the tip of the toy hard against my clit. Otherwise, the motor would slow and eventually grind to a halt.

But let me tell you something, with the right amount of lube, in combination with the softness of the silicone attachments, I mentioned earlier, swirling around back and forth across my clit, I could literally close my eyes and believe the fantasy. Worth every bit of effort it took me to figure this toy out. It was bliss and the reason for the harp and singing angels. Another pro tip, worth noting: this toy works best with a smooth up and down or vertical motion or more specifically, perpendicular to the clitoris.

The Most Annoying Sound In The World?

Now for the bad news, the noise. Damn! You can expect to raise some eyebrows if you’re not alone when using The Caress. We all know how noisy drills can be, be they a tiny dentist version, or of the bulky Home Depot variety. Unfortunately, the same rings true with sex toy motors that spin or rotate. The Caress’s motor is loud, obnoxious, and a bit distracting, but given the circumstances, I’m willing to overlook it and hope for a future upgrade.

Another not so great aspect of The Caress is its design makes it hard to clean. This includes the attachments and the toy itself. The attachments are difficult to clean because of their tiny silicone nubs and arms, creating deep, hard-to-reach crevices. Still, there is a bright side, they are removable and made of silicone. Making them safe to pop in the dishwater, or to boil.

Another hygienic concern of mine is the plastic attachment plate leaves a gap. Making it practically impossible to clean thoroughly. Or at least to inspect visually for left behind the debris. This leads me to fear that lube and grime could possibly build up in that space over time. Not only would that be unhygienic, but it could also cause mechanical problems down the road. I really wish the spinning plate could be sealed by an outer layer of silicone.

The upside here is Adrien Lastic offers a 2-year manufacturer warranty, should any problems arise.

Sweet Victory

Lately, I’ve been guilty of mentally taking the old “Playin-It Safe-Approach” with sex toys. You know the ”If I don’t expect too much, I won’t be let down” way of thinking. Along the way, it’s saved me a lot of dashed hopes and prevented me from becoming jaded, but it also makes times like these that much sweeter. A toy I’d half-expected to hate, The Caress, came out of nowhere and totally rocked my world! I can’t think of any toy I’ve tried so far that can give me the same unique sensation, The Caress can. I’m truly enamored, guys.

Get your Adrien Lastic Caress at SheVibe orPeepshow Toys