Say it ain’t so

Today, while browsing PicoBong’s website, I was shocked to find they are still selling their version of a vibrating cock ring, the Koa. I honestly thought it would have been discontinued. Or at the very least replaced by an updated version.

The Koa is still being sold and marketed as a vibrating cock ring, right? It certainly was a couple of years back, when I first got mine. The box it came in refers to the Koa as a couple’s toy. Stating it will “increase his staying power.” Which is something you’d expect from any decent cock ring, right? Except, that in the case of the Koa, this statement doesn’t make any sense. The Koa looks nothing like your average, run-of-the-mill, vibrating cock ring. In reality, it looks almost exactly like PicoBong’s finger vibe, the Ipo 2. With the only difference being the addition of the Koa’s curved plastic tail.

Now mind you, “my Momma didn’t raise any fools!” I did my fair share of research before deciding to shop online for sex toys. Like most, I started out reading online sex toy reviews. This was right around the time I discovered my favorite sex bloggers and became aware of body-safe materials. Thanks to their informative insights, most of my first sex toy purchases were compatible with my wants and needs. Take, for instance, the We-Vibe Tango and the We-Vibe Touch, that I bought from Lovehoney. Both still rank at the top of my list of favorite toys. The Koa though, not so much.

Beginner’s (Un)luck

I can’t remember why the PicoBong Koa was on my wishlist back then. I can only guess, that since Lelo was still the darling of the sex toy industry. My thinking had to be somewhere along the lines, of PicoBong being the next best thing to Lelo. Especially, for someone, like me, who was low on cash. Plus, this was when I was still trying to find toys that would seem as non-threatening as possible to my partner. No matter the reasons, I bought it and I regretted it right away.

Due to my lack of experience with sex toys at the time, I can forgive myself for making such a poor choice. Especially, since at first glance, the Koa appears to be a pretty good sex toy. I mean it is coated with body-safe silicone. In addition to that, it’s waterproof up to one meter, and it has twelve patterns and varying speeds. All features, that any quality sex toy, should have. So as a newcomer to sex toys I thought I was making a decent choice.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Unfortunately, this just wasn’t the case and after discovering they are still selling the Koa today, I feel obligated to make others aware of my disappointing experience, with the Koa. First off, the motor is not powerful. It’s terrible, weak, and buzzy. Second, there’s that little issue of how anyone can possibly reconcile the Koa’s design with any definition of what’s commonly considered a vibrating cock ring. It just doesn’t fly.

The way the Koa is designed, when it’s put on a penis it points entirely in the wrong direction. When worn horizontally it actually points perpendicular to the penis. Causing the vibrator to ram into the inner thigh of the partner of the person who’s wearing it. Or if worn vertically it’s off-center and no still nowhere near the vicinity of the clitoris. Completely defeating the purpose of the vibrating apparatus, in my opinion.

Adding further insult to injury, the current description on PicoBong’s site says the motor is powerful and “will knock your socks off”. This would be almost laughable if it weren’t for the fact that they are charging $54.95 for this junk!

While these are my main issues with the Koa. That’s not even taking into account the hard plastic the so-called “ring” is made of. I don’t have to own a penis to know that it would have to be uncomfortable and pinchy. Honesty, it really makes me wonder what PicoBong was thinking when they were designing the Koa.

Times Are Changin’

It makes me angry to think people are still being taken advantage of, by the misleading product information, supplied by the PicoBong website. For someone new to sex toys, like I was. The Koa looks like it has a lot of awesome features. Like I mentioned earlier, it has a silicone construction, it’s waterproof, and has multiple speeds. In all I honestly, I wouldn’t have as big of a problem with the Koa if it were more reasonably priced. I mean you can get the Tenga SVR, a truly awesome vibrating cock ring, or the We-Vibe Tango, a versatile bullet, for only $25.00 more. I hate to think about how many well-intentioned people have made the same disappointing mistake I did with the Koa.

We all work hard for our money. None of us have the means to waste it on toys that don’t live up to our expectations. I only hope PicoBong drastically lowers the price of the Koa, redesigns it to be much better, or simply removes it from their lineup of toys. Times are changing in the sex toy industry. It’s way past time for Lelo and PicoBong to step up their game.

I take my duty as a sex toy reviewer seriously. I have a responsibility to make my readers aware of products that are underwhelming and overpriced. So take it from me, learn from my mistake, and don’t buy the Koa. Save your hard-earned money for some of the other amazing sex toys out there. Don’t settle for less than you truly deserve.

Get your own PicoBong Koa