Mama’s gettin’ the VIP treatment tonight, baby! In the form of what I’ve personally nicknamed, the Cadillac of sex toys, the Doxy Number Three. Really, there’s just something about the Number Three’s satiny brushed aluminum-titanium alloy finish that just plain screams luxury.
Now, I’ll give you this much, The Doxy Number Three may not be your tricked-out-Escalade-sporting-26-inch-chrome-rims version of a wand. No, that’d be the Doxy Die-Cast Orginal you’re looking for instead.
When this self-described, bullet vibe devotee saw Je Joue had three brand new versions, ones that could potentially be added to my ever-expanding stockpile of favorites, I did a small-seated, happy-dance.
Listen, I fangirl rumbly clit vibes so hard that if “The Rumbly Bullet Vibes” were a sports team I’d be their number one fan. Seriously, I’d cheer them on at every home game.
Beyond the usual; realistic versus abstract design preferences, I suppose aesthetics usually don’t play a huge factor in most folks’ decisions on whether or not to buy a dildo.
Maybe I’m wrong here, but I imagine, most people read online product specs, with the hope of accurately gauging whether a dildo’s overall dimensions, (i.e., length, width, and girth) will be compatible with their personal preferences. All while holding their breath that the toy they ultimately wind up choosing,
Just the other day, my sister and I were discussing our fatness. You know that thing, that “dreadful” thing that children at the tender age of five, have already come to understand is more horrifying to be categorized as being than to face the proposition of unexpectedly losing a limb. Sadly, during our conversation I realized, my Sis and I, now hold fundamentally differing views of what this means.
Personally,
Quick question, would it be a bad thing if I were to admit, that a large part of why I choose the Sola Cue to review, is its gorgeous shade of pale, ice blue? Sorry, but blue sex toys are a rare occurrence, and historically speaking, pretty hard to come by. Anyway, there’s has to be worse ways to go about choosing a toy to review, right?
For example, I could blindfold myself,
Cue the angelic choir music. Behold, dear readers, I have found a toy that sufficiently replicates the sensation of receiving oral. For me, at least, (with only a few minor caveats.)
I present to you, the Adrien Lastic Caress. Oh, and if you are wondering what that sound is, that my friends, is the sound of a harp accompanied by beautiful, angelic voices singing harmoniously, in perfect unison, “Ahhhhhhh!”
For the skeptics,
Jeezus! Satisfyer is cranking out new toys and (before you know it) even newer toys at such a breakneck pace that some of us are having trouble keeping up. Seriously, I barely had time to try the original Pro Penguin, before, next thing I knew, Satisfyer was releasing the Pro Penguin Next Generation!
So, I figured it’d be less confusing for everyone, if I simplified things by rolling my thoughts,
Dull, bland, uninspiring, humdrum….shall I continue? No, really, I could go on, and on. About how much of a dud the VēDO GEE Slim G-Spot vibrator turned out to be. This review contains no mentions of grand orgasmic fireworks. Because there were none or maybe, better I said, I had none.
Nope, any hint, even the slightest whisper of an orgasm I managed to muster while using the GEE Slim agonizingly fizzled away.
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