Category: Reviews

 

REVIEWS


New to adult toys? Can’t decide where to shop? Not sure which toy is going to work for you? Relax and read my reviews. They are meant to help guide you in your decisions. Be confident knowing my reviews always reflect my true and honest opinions on a wide range of sex toys, positional aids, lube, and lingerie.

Beyond the usual; realistic versus abstract design preferences, I suppose aesthetics usually don’t play a huge factor in most folks’ decisions on whether or not to buy a dildo.

Maybe I’m wrong here, but I imagine, most people read online product specs, with the hope of accurately gauging whether a dildo’s overall dimensions, (i.e., length, width, and girth) will be compatible with their personal preferences. All while holding their breath that the toy they ultimately wind up choosing,

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Quick question, would it be a bad thing if I were to admit, that a large part of why I choose the Sola Cue to review, is its gorgeous shade of pale, ice blue? Sorry, but blue sex toys are a rare occurrence, and historically speaking, pretty hard to come by. Anyway, there’s has to be worse ways to go about choosing a toy to review, right?

For example, I could blindfold myself,

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Cue the angelic choir music. Behold, dear readers, I have found a toy that sufficiently replicates the sensation of receiving oral. For me, at least, (with only a few minor caveats.)

I present to you, the Adrien Lastic Caress. Oh, and if you are wondering what that sound is, that my friends, is the sound of a harp accompanied by beautiful, angelic voices singing harmoniously, in perfect unison, “Ahhhhhhh!”Adrien Lastic CaressAdrien Lastic Caress

For the skeptics,

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Jeezus! Satisfyer is cranking out new toys and (before you know it) even newer toys at such a breakneck pace that some of us are having trouble keeping up. Seriously, I barely had time to try the original Pro Penguin, before, next thing I knew, Satisfyer was releasing the Pro Penguin Next Generation!

So, I figured it’d be less confusing for everyone, if I simplified things by rolling my thoughts,

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Dull, bland, uninspiring, humdrum….shall I continue? No, really, I could go on, and on. About how much of a dud the VēDO GEE Slim G-Spot vibrator turned out to be. This review contains no mentions of grand orgasmic fireworks. Because there were none or maybe, better I said, I had none.

Nope, any hint, even the slightest whisper of an orgasm I managed to muster while using the GEE Slim agonizingly fizzled away.

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Okay, I have to make a quick confession. The Noje W3 is one of the rare instances where the size of a toy took me by complete and utter surprise. This was in large part, due to a (slightly-embarrassing) oversight of mine. My failure to read the product guide in its entirety. Whoops!

Another factor, which led to my severe misjudgment of the Noje W3’s size and scale, stems from my (wrongheaded,

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