Some recent trips down memory lane, have served to remind me that parents bear a huge responsibly to their children. In helping them grow into sexually functioning adults. People who can go out into society and feel at ease with their bodies and how they work. Women who are not satisfied with merely pretending to feel pleasure, but demand the real thing. Adults who understand that no, means no.
Sadly though, sexuality and sexual pleasure, in particular, is skipped over by well-meaning parents. Whether it’s due to the adults feeling embarrassed when speaking openly about sexuality with their kids, or they think they will be taught at school by either their teachers or their peers, or both. I’m not sure.
I do know, that at the bare minimum, parents owe it to their children to educate them about how their bodies work. The correct names of their anatomy. Along with an understanding of sexual consent, and how reproduction works.
Our children deserve to feel at ease when discussing these topics, especially in the privacy of their home. We need to open a dialogue, let them know we are available to answer any questions they have. The shame surrounding sexuality needs to end.
I’ve spent a majority of my adult years working towards undoing the damage the lack of parental openness surrounding sexuality caused in my life. The secrecy and shame I associated with sex were not healthy. For a long time I worried I was wrong or bad for daring to enjoy sex and masturbation, but no more.
I know that I never want my daughter to feel the fear, shame, and isolation surrounding sex that I felt growing up. I want her to be able to embrace her sexuality from the earliest (and healthiest for her) possible moments in her journey through life. Never linking sex and shame together, the way I did.
If I’m a hundred percent honest with myself though, I have to admit I’m terrified that I will leave the wrong impressions about sex on my her, too. Although, I am determined not to, because I know it’s up to me to break the cycle of shame. This legacy ends with me.~